Defiant Joy

My unlikely favorite weapon to get out and stay out of a negative spiral.

Joy has always been a bit in the background. It's on my wall (I was planning on having the quote "My joy is full" surrounded by framed pictures on my wall but the procrastinator in me only ever got the word 'joy' done) and I've noticed that I have quite a few Christmas ornaments of the word. But like I said, it was always kind of in the background of my mind and reserved for those special times when the planets, and hormones and circumstances align and everything just feels right. Ahhh...joy.

2022 started without me having a word or theme for the year. I don't like putting pressure on doing that but kind of wait for the LORD to show me a theme or focus when He sees fit. But when negative and anxiety producing thoughts started beating me up during the Christmas break, it unexpectedly whispered to me, "I dare you to pick me and open me up".

What was I supposed to do with that?!

In my ongoing battle with negative thinking, I thought I had found the answer in truth, reciting Scripture, praise and worship music, and quiet time just being still or doing something relaxing like reading or doing a puzzle. But this time, none of those seemed to really making a difference like they had done so many times before.

So when joy whispered in my ear, I wasn't sure how to respond. How do you even choose joy? I don't like lying, pretending or making things up. I'm sure there are blog posts and books about it but I wasn't in the mood for that. I wanted joy itself to teach me directly.

At first it felt a bit like pretending. Joy is the emotion you get when things are good; a feeling of delight. So I started to do what at first felt like pretending - that everything my mind was screaming at me was "wrong" was actually good and right and that God was actually very happy with it (obviously not blatant sin but rather all the things we see as "not good enough"). So then, I acted like everything was right and good and that I was succeeding greatly. I allowed those feelings to continue bubbling up instead of rationalizing them away.

And then almost naturally, I started feeling a connection to heaven. Now this really did make me feel happy. I felt a strength and genuine joy take over and I was amazed. 'It didn't even take that long', I thought.

As I was taking down my Christmas tree, I began to really notice just how many joy ornaments I had. And it just seemed like this is the word God had for me for this year. It kind of made me smile. Joy seemed so unexpected. I guess I was expecting something a bit more serious. Sometimes we are tricked into believing Christianity is alway and only serious.

Now I don't want to reduce it to a fail-proof, cure-all gimmick because to me it feels way more sacred than that.

Joy aligns us with heaven and with God.

Joy aligns us with heaven's atmosphere and what is going on there. There is joy in heaven! God is joyful! Jesus is joyful! The angels are joyful! Psalms 16:11

"The joy of the LORD is our strength" Nehemiah 8:10

Joy is of the LORD, meaning it is something that He is; it is part of His character and also something He possesses and can give.

You don't have to wait for everything to be right or for you to be perfect to choose joy. In fact, I believe it is particularly when we feel down - on ourselves and our lives, that God wants us to connect with Him through joy.

And what does choosing joy result in? For me, it produces peace, gratitude to God, like I want to praise Him, a closeness with Him, and a supernatural strength and desire to do what is good and holy. If Jesus says to judge a tree by its fruit, (Luke 6:43) I would say that the fruit of choosing joy is good. I'm still not perfect at remembering to choose joy every time I feel in a rut, but I'm getting better. In fact, I'm not sure that God wants me to move on to another word or theme quite yet.

So I will keep choosing joy - often in defiance of what my own natural brain and sometimes the enemy's lies, want me to choose.

"Rejoice in the LORD always. I say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4